Dos and Donts Dealing With Loved Ones Coming Out

DO'S

DON'T
Do listen to what your loved one's life i like,
and what kind of experiences he or she has
had in the world
Don't blame own feelings on your loved one.
Do take the time to seek information about
the lives of GLBT people from parents of
GLBT people, friends of you loves one,
literature, and most of all, directly from your
loved one.
Don't rush the process of trying to
understand your loved one's sexuality or
gender indetity.
Do get professional help for anyone in the
family, including yourself, who becomes
severely depressed over your loved one's
sexuality or gender identity.
Don't assume that your loved one should see a
professional counselor or encourage "reparative
therapy".
Do accept that you are responsible for your
negative reactions.
Don't criticize your loved one for being
different.
Do help your child (or loved one) set
individual goals, even though these may
differ drastically from your own.
Don't expect your child (or loved one) to make
up for your own failures in life.
  
Do try to develop trust and openness by
allowing your loved one to be who she or
he is without pressure.
Don't try to force your loved one to conform
to your ideas of proper sexual behavior.
Do be proud of your loved one's capacity for
having loving relationships.
Don't blame yourself because your loved
one is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered.
Do look for the injured feelings underneath
the 
anger and respond to them.
 Don't demand that your child (or loved one)
live up to what your idea of what a man or
woman should be.
Do defend him or her against discrimination.  Don't discriminate against your loved one.
Do respect your loved one's right to find out
how to choose the right person to love and
how to make relationships last.
Don't try to break up loving relationships. 
Do say, "I love you". Don't insist that your morality is the only
right one.