|Dos and Donts Dealing With Loved Ones Coming Out|
|Do listen to what your loved one's life i like,
and what kind of experiences he or she has
had in the world
|Don't blame own feelings on your loved one.|
|Do take the time to seek information about
the lives of GLBT people from parents of
GLBT people, friends of you loves one,
literature, and most of all, directly from your
|Don't rush the process of trying to
understand your loved one's sexuality or
|Do get professional help for anyone in the
family, including yourself, who becomes
severely depressed over your loved one's
sexuality or gender identity.
|Don't assume that your loved one should see a
professional counselor or encourage "reparative
|Do accept that you are responsible for your
|Don't criticize your loved one for being
|Do help your child (or loved one) set
individual goals, even though these may
differ drastically from your own.
|Don't expect your child (or loved one) to make
up for your own failures in life.
|Do try to develop trust and openness by
allowing your loved one to be who she or
he is without pressure.
|Don't try to force your loved one to conform
to your ideas of proper sexual behavior.
|Do be proud of your loved one's capacity for
having loving relationships.
|Don't blame yourself because your loved
one is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered.
|Do look for the injured feelings underneath
the anger and respond to them.
| Don't demand that your child (or loved one)
live up to what your idea of what a man or
woman should be.
|Do defend him or her against discrimination.||Don't discriminate against your loved one.|
|Do respect your loved one's right to find out
how to choose the right person to love and
how to make relationships last.
|Don't try to break up loving relationships.|
|Do say, "I love you".||Don't insist that your morality is the only